HEADLINE: Local Fireman Hunk Hoses Down The Hotties

During a recent performance at the Big City Music Festival, a fireman on standby took it upon himself to cool off the festival goers. As summer temperatures rose to shocking 105 degrees, dancing, singing women in front of the stage began to faint and even worse, lose motivation to dance. As the masked fireman mounted the stage with his hose, the listeners believed it was part of the show. A male mega-fan shouted, "GET AWAY FROM HER", trying to protect the performer. As the hose powered on, the fireman pointed it at the mega fan, though many women moved in front to receive the powerful blast of water. Within moments, everyone had cooled significantly from the spray. The fireman was seen exiting the stage and is quoted saying "BALABAGOO", as his eyes rolled around in his head.